Hidden
by RKdreamer
Summary: Time and time again, Kuroko struggles to help the one he holds dear to him. Akashi, with his own self determination, tries to help himself. But with many dark secrets, will it be possible for them? For there are plenty who keep things hidden. mainly: KuroAka/slight AkaKuro, side pairing: MidoTaka, possible other pairings.
1. Ruby

**Author's note: **This my attempt at writing a story because I, for some reason, got myself into liking KuroAka but finding that pairing is rare and being frustrated that I couldn't find much I followed the saying "If you want something done, you got to do it yourself" and decided to write this story.

Characters will be as IC as possible because we only know what they act like on the outside in a basketball setting, so we don't know how they would act in other situations. And even though this is KuroAka (Kuroko seme, Akashi uke) they wont be extremely different to fit those categories. Kuroko will still be a little more sensitive and cute. Akashi will be IC in the right times when I include scenes from the Anime/manga.

**Warnings****: **possible OOCness as stated above, spoilers for those who haven't read the manga, mentions of abuse, rape, mental illness, and thoughts of self-harm. Oh and this story has yaoi, male x male. Rated M for reasons stated before and possible smut later on if I learn how to write it.

**Disclaimer****: **Do not own characters, (wouldn't be on this website if I did) except maybe those random OC's to fill in the plot (they wont be big or main, they're mostly family members or antagonists).

Also this is my first attempt at creative writing in general, as well as my first fanfic so reviews would help, especially with motivation.

Also thanks to **SnowyHeavens **for being my beta for this story and helping me organize and make the story better.

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_Beautiful_.

That is the first and only word that comes to me every time I set my eyes on him: _beautiful_. And it's not just how he looks, but everything about him. From how he talks to how he walks. From how he carries himself, the perfect image of confidence, to the grace he exhibits when playing the sport he partakes in. And from the way his voice can hold such powerful strength, and yet can also be soft with kindness, to his smile, which always threatens to cloud my self control from jumping him. Even though it's not just his appearance that makes me admire him greatly, his looks alone can drive me mad. His seemingly unnatural bright red hair, and his piercing ruby red eyes, that when gazed on me and only me, make me worry about getting a hard-on right in front of him. Just everything, every single little detail about him, makes me want him so much, and more. So much to the point I refer to him as _Ruby_, in my mind, because of his ruby red hair and matching eyes.

This love. It makes me absolutely giddy like a fangirl who just got a poster, or even a dusty rag, signed by a world-famous pop idol, or whomever fangirls these days obsess over. However, I'm not like those fangirls... at least, not exactly like them. First off, I'm a guy so if anything, I'm a fanboy... which I am not because I'm not an obsessive fan who stalks everything their obsession does... What? I don't! Just most of the things my Ruby does... I'm trying to control and limit myself, don't worry... I don't follow him home and steal his stuff like those obsessed fans do. Sheesh. I merely observe him, that's all, and maybe go into random explicit fantasies or day dreams whenever I see him, but that's it. I promise... for now.

Another reason why I'm nothing like those obsessive fans is because unlike them, I'm actually friends with my obsession... er, I mean crush. So instead of gazing from afar, wishing for him to notice me, I'm already noticed and get to spend time with my Ruby. Okay, he isn't mine yet... but one can dream, right?

Him noticing me might have been the moment I started falling for Ruby because, you see, not many people notice me in general. Not just my potential or who I am as a fellow human being, since they can't really notice that if they don't even know I'm there!

My parents once told me it was because I don't stick out or have noticeable features, but I really doubt that's it. I may be quiet and lack much outward emotion, but I think my bright light-blue hair should be quite easy to spot. Unfortunately, it's not. Why? Because I just simply lack presence. Don't ask me why because I don't know; I just do.

So when people actually notice me and take the effort to befriend me, someone whose presence is almost equivalent to that of a ghost, that person tends to become very important and special to me and my life. And those are very few.

Before I entered middle school, those that were important to me could all be counted on my right hand alone. Now, the number has escalated. It's still not many, but I don't mind, especially when one of them is Ruby.

Although Ruby was one of the first to notice me in middle school, he was not the first but the second. The first person to befriend me in school was a basketball idiot by the name of Aomine Daiki. But because of Aomine, and I shall thank him silently forever for this, the person who at that time was just an attraction for me, became a part of my life. The captain (though, at that time he was the vice captain) of the first string basketball team of Teiko Middle School.

Instead of my less-than-average abilities that prevented me from playing the sport I love, he was the one that aided me into finding out what made me useful on a basketball team. After I had found my ability, which happened to be my lack of character (I mean presence) to perform misdirection in passing the ball, I joined the first string.

Ruby believed in my ability enough to put me in a game without even witnessing what I could do. It was embarrassing, to say the least. I was nervous and scared, but I wanted to impress my crush. Instead, I had tripped and fell face first onto the court, ending with me humiliating myself and acquiring a bloody nose.

I didn't really care about what anyone else thought, except for my Ruby. I remember I had wanted to go run and hide forever. I was so afraid of what he would think of me. Would he be embarrassed of me or never let me play again? Boat loads of thoughts had rushed through my head, but it was for naught. For my beautiful redhead, with such kindness, reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that I would just prove myself next time. And I did.

After proving my worth on the court, I became accepted into the top of the first string, which included Aomine-kun and my Ruby. I was happy to be a part of this group where I became friends with many- um, what word should I use? Um, unique people. But most of all, I was ecstatic because unlike before, I was getting closer to the person I hold most dear to me.

_Akashi Seijuro_, the one and only person whom I, Kuroko Tetsuya fell deeply in love with.

It had been a normal day for Teiko basketball club's first string. At least, it appeared that way to everyone. Everyone else, except for me. For I noticed the strange behavior of my beloved captain. Akashi was very skilled at hiding any kind of weaknesses and suspicious behavior because of his calm, collected, confident, and superior outward appearance. It fooled everyone, except for his most keen observer: me (I'm not a stalker! Get that out of your thoughts, now!).

I noticed that, lately, the redhead had been acting strange. First off, Akashi had been cutting practices short; not so often that it was noticeable to others, but enough to make me curious. Also, usually during those practices, our captain would avoid doing much exercise and have the team play scrimmages, only to not participate in them himself. Another thing I noticed was how, recently, Akashi has avoided changing in the locker room by most likely getting there early in the morning before anyone else arrived for morning practice and by staying after until everyone left in the afternoons.

I was contemplating all this in my head, while walking home from an exhausting day at practice, when I noticed that I didn't have two of my wristbands in my pocket, but one. Deciding that I was closer to the school than home, I turned back to go look for it. And remembering that my Ruby has stayed back to practice lately, I increased my pace to a fast walk (not run; I'm not that desperate!).

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**Please R & R **

Hope you enjoyed the prologue/1st chapter.


	2. Beaten

**Author's note: **I write this whenever I find time so updates will be frequent, the least will be once a week but it will usually be more than that.

disclaimer and warnings in first chapter.

Pov will be changing to different people sometimes in the story. Usually it's obvious who it is at the start but if it is confusing I can put so and so's pov before each section

Please enjoy and review, even if it's just a few words because it's nice to see my story being enjoyed or if you have other comments that can help make this story better than let me know. And they make me want to update faster :).

* * *

Hooking my arm over my head at the right angle, the ball I had shot made a nice arc through the air before passing straight into the net. Almost perfect, I thought. That's what it always is: almost perfect. I tsked before walking over to where the ball ended up.

Another day pretending like nothing was wrong. Another day pretending that nothing could stand in the way or affect the great Akashi Seijuro, captain of Teiko's basketball team, and of the group that has been recently dubbed "Generation of Miracles". It was exhausting, but it had to be done because no matter what, I will prevent these secrets from taking over my life. Keeping them hidden is the only way I'll be able to make it through.

Bending down to pick up the basketball, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sharp stinging pain running down the course of my lower back. I cursed, quickly grabbing my backside to try to ease the pain, but only to experience a wet feeling intensifying in between my thighs. I panicked, bringing my hand up, only to see what I was desperately hoping for it not to be.

Blood, dripping down my legs. I hastily made my way to the locker room; I was a total mess. My anxious thoughts flew everywhere from, "Has it only started bleeding now or did it reopen earlier when everyone was here?" to, "If it did, then did it leak through? Did anyone notice?"

While my mind was overreacting and coming up with multiple worries and anxieties that my reasonable mind knew were pointless, but were still continuing anyways, I kicked off my shoes and stripped off my clothes as fast as I was able to, while the many needles of pain continued to attack my lower back.

After getting my clothes off, I worked my attention to the various bandages wrapped around my body, giving me the appearance of a child's failed attempt at dressing up as a mummy for Halloween. The bandages around my thighs, which had been invisible under my clothes, were starting to bleed red. Bringing my sports bag with me, I made my way to the sinks, where I carefully unwrapped my mummified body of the dirty bandages. Thanking the universe that the coach gave me a key for me to lock up with, instead of someone else coming in to do that, I exposed my nude and beaten body.

**~Beaten~**

I had arrived back at school. I noticed the gym lights were still on, but my Ruby was nowhere to be seen. After entering the slightly ajar door, I entered the gym and then started my search for my wristband.

A while later, I found it under the bench where I had gone to sit before I passed out from all that running the losing team of the scrimmage had to do, which Akashi didn't participate in, again. Where is he, I thought. I knew he stayed after, but he would have locked up if he wasn't here.

I made my way over to the locker room, knowing that's where he most likely is, but once I reached the door, for some reason an instinct of mine told me to be discrete and not let the redhead see me. So, increasing my lack of presence, I quietly made my way into the room.

Going from locker to locker, I made my way across the room until I got near the bathroom area. Peeking out from the side of the locker, I saw a sight that at first excited me, but then made way to an unbearable amount of anger and worry.

There, standing a few feet away with his back towards me, was the point guard. He was naked, though I couldn't see his bottom half because it was behind a trash can. Even though that was the part that had excited me, my joy had faded when I saw what littered my Ruby's perfect body.

Multiple bruises and healing scars. I felt such an immense hatred and anger towards whoever did that to my Ruby that I nearly lost control in revealing my presence by grabbing Akashi and demanding he tell me who did this to him. But I didn't, even though I wanted to desperately. However, once he went towards the sinks, revealing to me his whole body, I noticed something that made me snap.

Along his inner thighs were streaks of blood coming from, most likely, his asshole. That was what made me step out from behind the lockers, revealing myself. How dare anyone lay a finger on what's mine! I seethed. Even though he isn't yours yet, reminded a voice in my head that I decided to ignore.

"Kuroko!"

I came out of my murderous thoughts when I heard my redhead's voice. He was holding a shirt in front of him, preventing me from seeing the worst of the injuries. He sounded nervous, but he had also been able to snap his appearance into that of superiority.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, more like stated, with a surprisingly unwavering voice, but it held slight anger.

"Akashi-kun..." I moved towards my captain, but he moved back. I had been mostly able to mask my emotions in my face and voice, but some of the intense rage had managed to make it's way into my voice.

"Kuroko, I suggest you leave. This is none of your business and it doesn't pertain to you," Akashi had a composed face even if the only shield he had was his shirt that he had clenched in his hand, which tightened, being the only indication that he was nervous and angry. At himself or me, I wasn't sure.

"Doesn't pertain to me?" I say in a dry voice, inching towards him, "And how does the Captain of our team, and also my friend, being injured not pertain to me?" the anger had managed to defeat my defenses and was shown clearly in my voice and face now.

In a slightly shaky voice, Akashi, knowing his demand wasn't going to work, decided to plead, but not pathetically (for Akashi would rather die than act pathetic). "Kuroko... Please, just go. Go and pretend you didn't see anything. Do it for me."

"No," I had managed to back him into a wall as I continued moving forward.

"No? If you don't leave now, I'll double, no, triple your quota for tomorrow's practice!" Akashi threatened, but his voice had a little desperate strain to it. My Ruby's composed appearance was starting to fall apart when he noticed that I had trapped him against the wall, in between two sinks. "Fine. Just what do you want from me? What will it take to make you leave?" he choked out when I said nothing, moving right in front of him.

His choked voice managed to snap me out of my furious trance of taking in all those blemishes caused by this person I now wanted to find and kill. "What? Why would I want something from you? Can I not help a friend?" I watched as my words painted a confused and shocked expression on my beloved's face. What he said next made me believe death was too merciful a punishment for whoever was behind those injuries.

"So, you don't want anything? You're not going to use this, this weakness, against me?" he said it with such a truly shocked and confused voice that I nearly burst into tears and hugged him tightly to never let him go. For what kind of pain has that person put my Ruby into to make him not trust anyone that has good intentions?

"No, I would never do that, Akashi-kun. I care about you and seeing you hurt, hurts me as well. Here, let me prove it by treating your injuries," I had quickly added the last part when doubt had started showing on his face. I moved to get paper towels and started to wet them enough under the faucet, so I could wipe off the blood.

"I don't..."

"Just let me do this, Akashi-kun. If I do anything besides treat your wounds, you can quadruple my training tomorrow." I said cutting him off. I would most likely die if my training menu was quadrupled, but I knew the only other thing that I could have been tempted to do was to make love to him right then and there if I wasn't so filled with concern and anger.

"No. Kuroko, I'm fine just leave," he stated in a firm tone.

"Why don't you trust me? Please, just let me help you and then we won't speak about this later, okay?" I pleaded hopefully.

"Why won't you just go? Please, just…" Akashi snapped his mouth shut to prevent the strangled voice from continuing.

"I won't hurt you, I won't ask questions, and I won't use this against you," I started to bring a hand up to my Ruby's face to reassure him, but when I saw him flinch, my hand retreated.

"...You promise that's all you want, is to help me?" he questioned suspiciously. " And you promise you wont mention this to anyone?"

"Akashi-kun there is nothing else I would want from you." Except you, my thoughts added. "And I would never even think about telling anyone" I said desperately.

"...Fine. However, if you do something suspicious, I would not think twice about making you pay tomorrow," he finalized.

"Hai, Akashi-kun. I would never dare cross you."

Good thing I was focused on those two emotions, concern and anger, because when I somehow convinced Akashi to go on all fours so I could clean his blood soaked bottom, I had a view that, other than the injuries, were only ever seen in my wet dreams. I knelt behind him, and with a full view of his ass, I took one of the damp paper towels and started to dab at his stained left thigh.

He shivered and made a small gasp, most likely from the cold wetness, and I would like to think that it was caused by my loving touch from my other hand on his hip to steady him. He was tense, like he was waiting for me to take advantage of his weakened state and use it to take down his high image. That thought made my eyes water, along with his pained whimpers he was desperately trying to stop, but failing when I dabbed near his abused hole.

The pained sounds and amount of blood were enough to prevent me from filling with lust and getting hard with such a sight: him on all fours with his ass slightly raised, eyes slightly watery, and whimpers coming from his clenched mouth. I knew that he was probably feeling extremely embarrassed and would make me pay later for it, but I didn't care. No way was I going to let my redhead deal with this alone.

Going through a bunch of paper towels, I managed to rid his beautiful skin of the red stains. I then took the bandages, and some ointment that he told me were in his bag, and started applying them to his numerous wounds. The thought of how he managed to hide all these and how he had probably hid the immense pain he constantly felt only made me admire his strength even more.

After I bandaged him, he said a quiet "Thank you," and quickly got dressed. Without talking even once, we turned off the lights and locked up the building before splitting ways to go home.

I felt odd. At first, I was slightly happy because I knew something about Akashi no one else did, and that made me feel closer to him, but the way he remained silent throughout the whole ordeal had me worried. If only I knew what horrors his secrets would cause, I would not have let him out of my sight that night.

* * *

**Preview****:**

___Akashi-kun...no this was not him._

_"You're back, Tetsuya." The impostor smiled in a way that caused unpleasant shivers to run down my spine._

_"Who are you?" I choked, for this wasn't my Ruby. Only appearance wise did he look the same, except instead of two ruby red eyes his left eye was now a golden yellow._

For those who've read the manga you might be able to predict what happens to him ;D.

**Please R & R**


	3. Changed

**Author's note: **I forgot to do this last chapter. Thx to all those who have fav and followed my story and especially to those who have reviewed because it's review that motivate me :).

Also again Thx to **SnowyHeavens **for being my beta.

**Warnings: **DRAMA. psychological damage, mentions of abuse and rape.

**Disclaimer****: **Don't own characters. Also in the confrontation scene the dialogue is taken from the manga.

The rest of the Generation of Miracles will be appearing in this chapter. Enjoy~! Also I cried a little at the end writing this.

* * *

A week. One week has gone by since that event in the locker room and nothing has grown between me and Ruby. In fact, it's like our relationship is worse! Why? Because Akashi-kun has been avoiding me.

The only time we interact is during practice, when he needs to tell me to do something, but that's it. This hurts much more than I would like to admit, especially since I had high hopes that we shared a bond, but I guess he didn't see it that way. And it also made me more worried as each day went by. I wasn't stupid and I knew that not only was someone abusing Akashi, they had also raped him.

The point guard, most likely now, viewed me as a threat. Since I saw him in such a weakened state, I was an unpredictable threat to the outward character he has built up over the past two years here at Teiko.

I had tried to talk to him alone, but he always evaded all my efforts. Like after practice, for example. He would not stay behind like before where I could catch him. In the locker room, he would only put on sweatpants over his shorts, change his shoes, and pull on his jacket, to not risk exposing his injuries by changing. And then, he would head home with everyone else, not to mention that he has been coming late to every morning practice.

Though no one thought the afternoon occurrence was odd, except for me, others started taking note of Akashi's weird behavior in the morning.

"Eh? Akashicchi isn't early again!" exclaimed Kise, who was sitting on a bench, tying his basketball shoes.

"No he isn't and I'm starting to worry," sighed Momoi. She was the one who had brought up this topic after stating that it was our captain's fifth time arriving late.

"Why does it matter whether he's early or late? He'll just work our asses off, anyways." Aomine lazily said, lying on the bench with an arm draped over his head. "And why do you even care?"

"That's mean, Aominecchi! He's our captain and he always cares for us." Kise was right, our captain always took care of us. He would make sure we always eat healthy, even if I was usually annoyed that he wouldn't let me drink my vanilla milkshake all the time, but I still appreciated what he was doing. And he would keep our bodies conditioned and in shape with his and Momoi's training menu they created.

"Yeah, Aka-chin is nice. He lets me eat my snacks," Murasakibara stated, in between stuffing handfuls of chips into his mouth.

Although I wondered why the purple-haired giant got special treatment with what he ate, I figured it was Akashi's way of keeping him loyal. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed the giant's special treatment. "Ehh? Why does he let Murasakibaracchi eat whatever he wants and not us?" pouted Kise.

By now, all of the Generation of Miracles were gathered around, except for the point guard. "Because, Kise, to keep a dog obedient and loyal, you've got to keep him fed," Midorima remarked, speaking my earlier thoughts out loud and pushing his glasses up his nose. He held a hot pink sharpie in his wrapped left hand, which I guessed was his lucky item of the day.

"Oi, are you calling him a dog? Murasakibara are you going to take that?" called out the basketball ball idiot, who was also my "light" on court.

"Ah, but it's true," the snack-loving center lazily stated without pausing from continuing to devour his snack.

"What's true, Murasakibara?" said a voice from behind me, which I knew as the voice of my Ruby even before I turned to face him. He looked mostly normal, but even with his perfect composure, he was unable to hide the exhaustion that emitted from his person. Did he not sleep well? What if he was abused last night and the pain prevented him from sleeping? My mind was a worried mess flashing from scenario to scenario, but my face never gave any indication of these frantic thoughts.

"That I listen to Aka-chin," the purple-haired giant answered.

"Good," Akashi nodded.

"Akashicchi, where were you? Why are you late?" Kise questioned, saying what we all wanted to ask, but were unsure if we should.

Sighing, Akashi completely ignored the blonde's questions, "Morning practice is canceled. Momoi let the rest of the team know."

"Great. Bye," Aomine said, already grabbing his bag and moving to leave.

"Wait, what?" exclaimed both Momoi and Kise.

"If that is your final decision, I guess it can't be helped," nodded Midorima, moving to leave as well.

"Whatever Aka-chin says."

Fearing that I would reveal his secrets through my worried questions, I decided to keep my mouth shut, for I knew that my Ruby would kill me if I spoke them out loud.

After saying what he came to say, our captain left the gym. And everyone else went to go find something to do before school.

**~Changed~**

Throughout the day, I was internally a mess, the worried thoughts getting more extreme by the minute. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I probably failed that math test; I was so full of emotion. Besides worry and concern, I was also numb with rage and down right fury. So much to the point that at lunch, I had unintentionally clenched my fist so tight around my vanilla milkshake (they sometimes served that at school) that the foam cup broke, pouring its delicious contents onto the table. Unfortunately for Kise, he had finally been able to beat Aomine in sitting next to me, so the milkshake ended up in his lap.

Since I didn't share the same class as my Ruby, I was unable to ease my worries by seeing that he was alright. I couldn't even find him at lunch, which was why I had wasted the perfect creation (next to my Ruby) known as the vanilla milkshake.

The next time I saw him was at practice. He was looking better than that morning, but he still looked extremely tired and worn out.

Practice was going normal, until Aomine suddenly left the building after realizing that the person he was going one-on-one with was losing so badly because he, himself, was too strong. The coach, failing to stop him, went after the tan-skinned player.

A few moments of shock passed through the gym, until Akashi spoke. I nearly missed what he said, but catching the end, I followed his order and went after my "light". However, I was a little reluctant to go because Aomine-kun and I have barely talked since nationals. I will be unprepared for what I'll encounter with the dark blue-haired ace, but I will be even more unprepared for the changes that will occur while I was away.

**~Changed~**

After Kuroko left, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I didn't really mean to avoid him lately, but my fears and anxieties, I hate to admit, got the better of me. Deep down, I knew the phantom player was never going to tell anyone or use his new knowledge against me, but the frail line of trust I had has been beaten enough that I wasn't going to take the chance.

In the end, neither Aomine nor Kuroko came back before practice was over. I was worried, more so than I was ready, to accept it. Aomine has been changing lately because his strength in skill has continuously increased to the point that it seems he no longer is able to find joy in the sport he loved. And it's not just the power forward; everyone's strength in the Generation of Miracles has been growing too strong and too fast.

While we were cleaning up the gym, the coach's earlier words came into conversation. "Hey, Akashicchi, do you agree with what the coach was saying about letting Aominecchi play in matches whether or not he attends practice? I know Aominecchi is strong and all, but is that honestly okay?" asked Kise.

"I don't know what the coach's true intentions are, but I share your sentiments," I replied, unsure how to go about facing the issue.

"Hmm. About that... Hey, Aka-chin...I don't like losing, so I've kept coming for practice up 'till now, but if we can win without that, I don't want to have to do that, either," Murasakibara lazily stated. "If Mine-chin can do it, I was thinking: maybe I should stop practicing, too." the center's voice had suddenly sounded determined.

"Don't say such ridiculous things. There's no way I could permit that," I quickly said. A bad feeling came upon me. It seemed to say something bad was going to happen.

"But I just feel there's no way I can lose right now. And you know~~" I knew I wasn't going to like what he was going to say next, "The reason why I've been following Aka-chin all this time is because I felt that no matter what, I could never win against Aka-chin. But recently, I've begun to feel..." Why? I knew what I feared was going to come, but I couldn't help but hold my breath while he finished, "that maybe that isn't the case. I don't wanna listen to **someone weaker than me**."

_"You're weak. Look at you. You're pathetic just like your mother."_

_No, don't talk about mother that way._

"...What did you say?" I growled. My fears were confirmed, and now I knew that I would have to stand my ground to keep the only control I had in my life.

With everyone else going into shocked surprise about the center's rebellion, he stated in a commanding tone the words that were like swords to my ears, "...I said~~~ I don't want to listen to someone weaker than me. 'Kay?" It was final. My hold on the Generation of Miracles was threatening to break. First with Aomine, and now Murasakibara.

"What are you saying, Mukkun?" Exclaimed a shocked Momoi, "You're joking right? And if you fight, the coach will..."

Having enough, I grabbed her shoulder to move her aside, "Out of my way, Momoi," I ordered, cutting off what she was about to say, "I won't let this slide, Murasakibara. The captain does not necessarily have to be the strongest player on the team, but it's a different matter entirely when you're speaking so openly against me," I seethed, making my way over to a basketball, "If you will only listen to force, then force I must use. Don't flatter yourself." I picked up the basketball into a dribble. "A one-on-one. The first to take five points wins."

I was so furious that the surprised shouts of my name was blurred by white hot fury. "I shall discipline you," I concluded.

"We'll see, Aka-chin~~" the challenge was set.

_"Now, let's see how much you can handle."_

I went my hardest, but no matter what, the center blocked my shots. "Murasakibara's completely overwhelming him!" I heard someone shout.

_"How pathetic. It's seems like that much is too overwhelming."_

"It's four to zero now. Akashi's in trouble!" I've never lost. Ever... at least, in any kind of game.

_"Why won't you cry? Your mother's dead. Aren't you sad you lost her?" _sneered the voice in my memory.

"...Huh~ Is that all~?" mocked Murasakibara, seeing me panting with my hands on my knees. "I thought you'd be harder to beat... but I guess that's it? Honestly, I'm a little... No, I'm really disappointed~~"

_"You're a disappointment. No matter what you do, you'll always be just that: a disappointment."_

"Yeah, I don't think I can listen to someone this weak~~"

_Weak. Weak. Weak_. It was like a mantra in my head as I froze, going wide eyed.

_"Haha. Weak. The only use you're good for is being a fucking whore."_

"Nope. Ah well, whatever. Once I get this in, it's my win. Just like we promised, I'll do whatever I want from now on."

_"Now where do you think you're going? It's just like we promised. You'll stay right here, forever."_

Am I going to lose? Akashi Seijuro losing? Losing... haven't I lost enough? Am I going to lose the last piece of control I have over my life? And to something like this?

_Weak. Pathetic. Worthless. Powerless. Disappointment. __**Failure.**_

Murasakibara dribbled the ball into a position to ready his body to spring forward towards the basket. As the mantra of words from past memories continued tormenting my mind, I felt something shift inside of me. Something powerful. Something I've never felt before. It filled me with fear, and yet, at the same time, I felt excitement.

The giant sprung. Something inside me snapped. And out growled a voice that was not my own, but it came from my throat.

**"I, who wins everything, am always right."**

Then, everything went black.

**~Changed~**

Ridden with sadness, I returned to the gym. My talk with Aomine-kun had made me depressed. His strength had grown so strong, defeating everyone like it was the easiest thing in the world, that he no longer could remember what made him love basketball in the first place. He couldn't even remember how to catch my passes, because it was unnecessary for him to do so. That caused me to realize just how useless I've become. It's like I'm not even as bright as a shadow anymore.

Seeing the gym empty except for Akashi, who was picking up remaining basketballs, I made my way over to him to deliver the terrible news.

Bowing my head, I said in a saddened voice, "I'm sorry, Akashi-kun. I was unable to convince Aomine-kun to come to practice. Also, I don't think he'll be coming much to practices anymore." my voice choked at the end.

"Oh~ You're back. Here, dry up" he said, tossing me a towel. Hearing the difference in my beloved's voice, I snapped my head up. "As long as we win, it doesn't matter what he does," Akashi-kun... No, the imposter smiled, causing an unpleasant shiver to run down my spine, filling me with dread. "Give up on Aomine."

Astonished is too light of a word for what I felt, for he was acting the exact opposite than when I had left. "Who are you?" I choked on a sob. This wasn't Akashi-kun. Other than appearance, except for instead of two ruby red eyes the left was a golden yellow, this was not my Ruby.

"I'm Akashi Seijuro, of course, **Te...tsu...ya**." he smiled darkly, gesturing to himself.

**Taking my silence as the end of our conversation, this Akashi look-a-like left. Once he shut the door, I broke out of my stone-shocked state, fell to my knees, and broke down crying.**

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed. wow I'm so mean to Akashi and Kuroko heh.**

**The time skip will be the next chapter (with summary).**

**Preview****:**

_"Goodbye Tetsuya."_

_"Goodbye Akashi-kun..." Wait why does it sound like you're saying goodbye forever, I added in my thoughts._


	4. Again

**Author's note****:** Sorry that the chapter lengths vary, I just end them were I think it's a good place. Also this is the last chapter of the **beginning**. Starting next chapter we'll get into the main plot.

**Yuna S**: Don't worry this story isn't even close to being finished. Also sorry but I can't tell you who's abusing and raping Akashi yet :(. You'll just have to wait and see :).

Hope you all enjoy :). Also please review because I feel like I'm the only one sometimes that likes KuroAka and also it **really **helps with motivation. Thank you!

* * *

They changed. All of them did. The worst was my best friend and the love of my life.

I had asked around, hoping to figure out what happened to my Ruby, but all I learned was that he started behaving differently after a confrontation against Murasakibara. He no longer took care of us; all he cared about was winning.

Everyday, until that year's nationals, was painful. Everyday, seeing my beautiful redhead, and yet knowing it wasn't really him anymore, hurt a ton. And everyday, the Generation of Miracles grew stronger and stronger, and every game, I became more and more useless.

I couldn't take it anymore. The worst was at nationals where I promised my friend, Ogiwara, who was one of those few important people before I entered middle school, that we would play against each other. However, I ended up injured so I couldn't play in that game. I told Akashi to not go easy on them, but I didn't think that they would make that game a joke. They were only playing to see who could get the most points and totally ignoring my friend's team. It crushed him, and it crushed me. I had talked to Akashi after, but his uncaring words only brought tears to my eyes. So, I resigned from the basketball team after we won at nationals.

After that, I didn't see any of the Generation of Miracles, except for glimpses at graduation. We all split up and went to different schools, doing the exact opposite than what I promised Momoi. Kise went to Kaijo, Midorima to Shutoku, Momoi and Aomine to Touou, Murasakibara to Yosen, and Akashi to Rakuzan. I decided to go to Seiren. It wasn't a known school since it only started last year, but that's why it was perfect for me.

There, I became a part of a team and I was happy, but I still couldn't get rid of that heartbreak. However, after we beat Kise's team, he changed back into the friend I had back before the changes in Teiko (although, slightly more mature).

And it didn't stop there; we also beat Shutoku. Later, at the Winter Cup, it was obvious how much of a difference that lost made in Midorima's character. Both he and Kise became more a part of their teams.

Though the first time my team was crushed by Aomine in the Inter High, we were able to beat him at the Winter Cup. Well, more like Kagami beat him, but whatever. He changed too and that gave me a huge amount of hope. What if I can get back my Ruby by beating Akashi? So, next to our team's goal at becoming number one in all of Japan, I made beating Akashi my internal goal.

The Winter Cup continued and we managed to beat Yosen, Murasakibara and Himuro's (Kagami's brother figure from his time back in America) team, changing him as well. After beating Kaijo again, with a very much stronger Kise, it was the finals: Seiren versus Rakuzan.

Though I always tried to distract myself, my Ruby would never stay out of my thoughts for long. I would constantly think about him. Is he okay? Has he been abused since? What made him change? His change is what hurt me the most because I was unsure how I should feel about this new him. I've read about mental illnesses online to see if the trauma he experienced was what caused it. I have a hunch it might be Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) but I can not be sure.

I never saw Akashi until the beginning of the Winter Cup, where he, again, surprised me with how much he changed. He even took Midorima's lucky item, which just had to be scissors, and stabbed them towards Kagami's face which, since he dodged, only grazed his cheek. And then, I had faced him in the finals.

**~Again~**

We had won. When it was over, I had stood there, shocked. It wasn't until the announcer had announced our win, and Hyuuga-kun slapped me on the back, did I snap out of my stupor. It had been a miracle. I was quickly filled with glee as I joined my team in cheering.

A few moments of joy passed before I remembered Akashi-kun. As I set my eyes on him, I noticed he seemed confused, but why was that?

After saying our parting thanks and receiving our Winter Cup, we headed to the locker rooms, but I was stopped by Akashi. Only until after I told the rest of my team to continue on to the locker room (except Kagami, who stayed a whiles away to watch, but I'm not really sure why), did the redhead speak. "I want to congratulate you on your win, Kur... Tetsuya."

I noticed the hesitation before saying my name, but decided to ignore it. "Arigato, Akashi-kun."

"I'm proud of you, Ku...Tetsuya. You've come far," he said quietly. And again, I noticed the hesitation. This time I decided not to ignore it, but did not give any indication that I heard it.

"Really?" I exclaimed hopefully. Has the old Akashi come back?

"Hai... I've got to go. Good bye... Tetsuya," he said, turning his back to me. I was confused. Why did he sound sad?

"Oh... Good bye, Akashi-kun..." I had this hard ache in my chest and I couldn't ignore the feeling that he was saying goodbye forever.

As he was walking away, a voice was yelling in my head to go after him, to stop him, to hold him, and to never let him go, but I couldn't because I was afraid. But sadly, that would become my biggest regret.

**~Again~**

"Do you remember our bet?"

"Sadly," even though it was the other me who agreed to it, I added in my thoughts.

"Good," he nodded in a superior manner, "Then get in the car," then, he smirked, "Hopefully, you don't have anyone you're leaving behind, because you'll never see them again," he started laughing.

"Hai," and then, I got in the car.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed~ :)

**Preview****:**

_"Uh..Whose there?" I continued slowly into the alleyway. I heard a groan from a heap in front of me, but it wasn't a heap but a person. I was shocked, for the person I just turned over was none other then Akashi Seijuro._

**Please R & R.**


	5. Hurting

**Author's note****: **Thx to all those who've fav, followed and reviewed it helps motivate me and to **SnowyHeavens **for being my beta. Starting this chapter we're getting into the main plot so things will be slowing down a bit before picking back up and we'll be introducing new person's pov.

Also I forgot to mention this before but _italics _are memories/past except if it's a few words then it's for emphasis.

I think it's pointless to continuously put the disclaimer and warnings in each chapter so I'll just put them in chapters that they're necessary for.

Enjoy Chapter 5~

* * *

I continued asking myself the questions I've been asking for months: why do I continue living? What is there to live for? Why do I keep trying? But then, I always remember those words that were uttered on her dying breath.

_"...Live on, Seijuro... Don't let him break you... And always remember that I love you and will always be with you."_

And then, again, I remember why I even continue trying. Why I always fought to continue living. For She told me to live, but I wasn't living these past months, I was just not dying. So that's why I ended up here... but where is here?

**~Hurting~**

It was late, but I still continued my trek down the sidewalk, trying any means necessary to avoid going home. I knew my mother was most likely passed out by now, but I didn't want to take that chance. I sighed, pulling the scarf tighter around my neck to block out the slight chill. Sometimes, it's hard for me to remember what she's like sober, and whenever I struggled remembering, I would pull out the picture from my wallet.

It was crumpled and slightly torn around the edges, indicating constant use. I looked at this picture almost every day. Sometimes, I would try to stop myself from looking to prevent me from dwelling on the memories it holds, but I could never prevent them for long.

The dark brunette woman with golden orange eyes in the picture looks almost alien to me now. With her loving and laughing face and carefree smile, while holding up a peace sign just like the others in the picture.

Next to her, also making a peace sign, on the left side of the picture stood another alien, and yet familiar, face. With his raven hair and blue eyes, features that I inherited from him. His kind-looking features always on his face, even when he was in that coffin. That thought used to always get me crying, but recently, it only moistens my eyes a little bit, which just reminds me how long ago those memories seemed.

Right below that loving and caring woman that was no more, was a 10 year old boy, who looked identical to the final person in the photo next to him. Instead of blue eyes like the other boy, this boy's eyes had the golden orange of his mother's. Eyes that were hidden from the world when he laid in that wooden bed.

By now, the water escaped my eyes, even though it has been years since that day. I always carried this picture with me wherever I went. It was the only one I could save from her insanity tantrum that burned the rest. I clenched my eyes shut and held it to my chest as a strong wind blew from behind, only to open my eyes to see it flying away!

No. No. No. No! I chanted in my head as I ran after the photo that kept evading my grasp every time it was in reach. This can't be happening, I cried. It was my only way to remember what we all looked like, back when I had a happy and loving family.

"Please come back!" I cried out as I continued running after the evil wind taking what I hold dear. Suddenly, the wind took it into an alleyway and I had to grab onto a street lamp pole to prevent myself from slipping on the wet sidewalk as I skidded to slow down.

Walking into the dark, I noticed that my photo was stuck to the side of a dumpster since the evil wind, I now dubbed it, was forcefully keeping it glued there. Ripping it off, I stuffed the picture deep in my pocket to prevent it from escaping from me again.

As I was turning to leave the dark and scary alley, I froze as I heard a groan coming from the other side of the dumpster. First, instinct told me to run, but my stupid caring self suggested that it could be someone who needed help. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to leave calmly with that thought in my head, I made my way over, only to see a pile of damp clothes.

But then, the heap groaned. Why are clothes groaning? I panicked in my head. As soon as that thought passed, though, I wanted to smack myself, for apparently my brain stopped working when I was scared (good thing few things scare me then). With my wits now intact, I turned the heap, that I now figured was a person, over, only to get quite a shock. For the person, who was obviously extremely injured and in pain that I just turned over, was none other than_ the Akashi Seijuro_.

"Akashi? Speak to me! Oh man, what happened? Is that blood? Oh shit, it is! I need to get you to the hospital!" I said all panicky because, I mean, how does one go about this kind of thing?

Akashi, who seemed to be struggling to stay conscious, must've only heard the last thing I said, for suddenly his eyes grew wide, filling with panic. Grabbing the front of my jacket, he yelled in a raspy voice, "No! Please, I can't go to the hospital!" He seemed close to tears.

I was shocked, for the last time I saw the redhead was during our match in the Winter Cup, where he crushed us with power and that winner's confidence. Hearing him starting to chant, "Please, not there. Not where he could find me," I managed to snap out of my shocked state and grab a hold of his trembling hands that were still clenching desperately at my jacket.

"Okay, okay. Don't cry. I won't bring you to the hospital okay?" I quickly stated, hoping to prevent the tears that threatened to run down his face from obscuring the all-powerful and superior image I always imagined him as.

My words must've sated his confused and panicked mind, for he closed his eyes as he surrendered to unconsciousness. After hurriedly checking to see if he was still breathing, which was a yes, but barely, I hoisted him onto my back, not caring that the blood that covered him was staining my favorite jacket. I would still help him even if he was a stranger, but I am even more motivated to help him because not only is he someone I know, but he is important to a lot of people I am friends with, and that I care for. I kept that thought in mind as I made my way home with the ex-captain of the Generation of Miracles, and recently of the Emperors.

**~Hurting~**

It hurts. So much so for the past four months. Everyday, since Akashi had said goodbye, my chest has been hurting. And every day, since the Uncrowned Kings from Rakuzan came, interrupting Seirin's practice, and asked me if I knew why their suddenly-now former captain left Rakuzan, the pain has continuously increased to an almost unbearable amount. Again, I thought, I lost him again. I didn't know where he was, and that's what I had told my Ruby's former teammates.

Two times now, I had him so close, and yet once I had him within reach, he was gone. Only this time was worse because unlike before, I didn't have a clue what caused this and I didn't know where he was. The three Uncrowned Kings had said that right after the Winter Cup finals, the coach had told them that Akashi had not only resigned from the team but he also left Rakuzan. They also said that their principal was unable to give out any information about his whereabouts, because the person that came to drop off his Jersey and fill out the withdrawal papers also took all his personal info.

I had been furious when I learned this, because I just knew that was the person, or was someone helping the person, that had been causing my Ruby all that pain. Now, though, I was so numb from all that emotion that it was effecting my entire life from school, and worse, to basketball.

Even my home life was being affected, but thankfully, my grandmother is understanding enough to forgive my gloomy, and sometimes rude, behavior. I would make up with her and my teammates, but I just haven't had any motivation to do anything recently. The emotions over the past months have boiled over, and all I'm left with is a cloud of depression, threatening to take over my life.

* * *

Sorry no preview because I don't know yet what will all be in the next chapter.

If you haven't figured out whose pov for the middle section was, there are many clues so... figure it out. -_-

Hope you enjoyed~ :)

**Please R & R.**


	6. Haunted

**Author's note****: **Thx to all those who fav, followed and reviewed :). Continuous Thx to my beta **SnowyHeavens**.

If you figured out that the middle section's pov was Takao, then you are correct! Takao is my second favorite character right after Akashi so I just had to make him an important character. As well as make my second favorite pairing MidoTaka in there to.

For right now the story will be focusing on the friendship bond between Takao and Akashi so sorry if you wanted something else. -_-

Also the time is around the beginning of there second year so Takao is now captain and Midorima is vice-captain.

Updates have been fast because we keep getting days off of school because it's SO COLD out (five times this year:2014, so I guess this month. Ahh the privileges of living up north) so I've had a lot of time to work on writing but starting tomorrow I sadly have school again so updates might not be everyday anymore, sorry. :(

Hope you enjoy~ :)

* * *

Throughout the entirety of the school day, my thoughts were always invaded with the once all-powerful captain that was currently in my apartment on a couch in my room, unconscious. I had been unsure whether or not to leave him unattended until I got home, but I couldn't miss school and something told me he didn't want anyone to know he was there. I had left a note on the table by the couch, close to his head, in case he woke up when I was gone. Besides telling him where he was, I also made sure to let him know that if he heard my mother come home to keep silent because even if I lock my room, she could still get in if she really wanted to.

By the time practice rolled around, I had so many questions accumulated in my head it was driving me insane. So, to ease some parts of my curious mind, I decided to question someone who knew Akashi quite well, or he knew him better than others, if not well.

"Ne, Shin-chan, I've been thinking..."

Shin-chan sighed, "What do you want? Whenever you say that, only troublesome things come out." He pushed his glasses up his nose as he adjusted his lucky item in his arm, which was a giant stuffed glasses-wearing carrot that I had made fun of and laughingly had proceeded to name it Shin-chan the Second because of it's close resemblance to the green haired glasses-wearing horoscope lover.

"Oh, come on, Shin-chan. That's not always true."

"So you're saying you don't remember that time that you..."

"Shin-chan, I thought you said you never wanted to speak of it again!" I whispered loudly, because no way was I letting the newbies know something so embarrassing about their captain. Especially from their vice captain's mouth.

"You're right. It wouldn't be fair to scar the first years' minds with your past antics," he concluded. Yeah, always caring about everyone but me, I pouted in my head.

Stupid Shin-chan. Making me lose my train of thought, for I couldn't remember what I wanted to ask him until our water break, half an hour later. "Did Akashi ever act strangely in middle school?" I said out of the blue after I finished downing the contents of my water bottle.

After finishing drinking from his water bottle, the shooting guard looked at me like I just said the strangest thing all day, which it probably was. "Why on earth are you asking? And what brought that question to your head?"

Shit. I forgot to come up with a cover-up story because I'm pretty sure that Akashi would not take too kindly knowing the fact that more people saw him in his weakened state. "Uhh... Well, you know how you told me that he suddenly disappeared after Winter Cup finals and no one knew where he went?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't tell me why you would think about him."

"Well, I guess I'm just curious... because a few days ago, I thought I saw him at the supermarket, but it was just a boy with a really fuzzy red hat..." Really? A fuzzy red hat? What kind of lame cover up was that?! "Anyways, that just got me thinking that maybe there could be clues from his past that could maybe hint at where he is or why he left. Unless, he just left because he lost for the first time ever and, feeling so embarrassed, hid away forever like some people think." I knew the last part would get Shin-chan talking, because even if he covered it up with his extreme tsundereness, I knew he really did care about his past and current teammates. And how could I tell? Because knowing the horoscope lover for a whole year and sticking to his side like a parasite made me become quite fluent in tsundere-ese, especially Shin-chan tsundere (which was another dialect of its own).

"Of course Akashi wouldn't just leave because of something as simple as a loss, even if it was his first. He would never abandon his teammates, no matter if he felt embarrassed or not." The tall ace said in a finalized tone that meant he is not to be argued with.

"Of course, of course. I never believed that stupid rumor, either. I just want to know if, maybe, something he did, or didn't do, in middle school might connect to his disappearance."

After pondering for moment and probably going through all his memories of his former captain, he spoke, "I'm not sure if it could relate to anything, but I remember one occurrence where Akashi came to one of our captain and vice captain meetings a little late, then proceeded to ask me if I had any bandages."

"Why would he ask that? Was he injured?" I inquired.

"I didn't ask. Why would I? It was none of my business. What he wanted to do with them was none of my concern. But it had confused me because at practice, he gave me the roll back but there was barely any bandage wrap left. And I never thought him to be wasteful."

Ahh, I see, I thought. After searching through my tsundere translator "Tsundere to Japanese for Dummies," I realized that he remembered this moment not because he had been confused about Akashi's wasteful behavior, but because he had been concerned for his friend's (though, he would deny this) welfare. "Aww. Shin-chan cares for Akashi. Then you must be really worried over his disappearance, ne?" I teased.

"What are you talking about? Did you not listen? I said I was confused about the waste of bandages. And why would I be worried about his disappearance? Akashi is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and making the right decisions, even if they make no sense," he argued, pushing his glasses up his nose while turning to look away, but I still caught the slight fluster to his face.

I knew he cared, and probably had spent hours trying to find even the smallest hint to where the redhead was. That is one of the many things I love about him. How, with people that are important to him, that even though he denies any sort of relationship to you, he will be loyal to you until you, yourself, end the relationship and even then he would come to your side if he is needed.

However, knowing where he is, that Akashi is far from okay, and that from the insane amount of injuries that he had been incapable in taking care of himself, made me feel a little guilty saying this, "Yeah. You're probably right, Shin-chan. Akashi must know what he's doing," I smiled. "We better get back to practice."

"No kidding. I find it a miracle that you were even made captain with you always getting distracted," he humphed as he made his way back into the gym.

"Hey! That rarely happens!" I yelled as I went after him. Man, he is so mean to me! I grumbled in my mind. Then, I smiled almost bitterly, and yet I still ended up falling in love with the oblivious, socially awkward Midorima Shintaro.

**~Haunted~**

Where am I?

"...shi..."

What's that noise?

"...kashi..."

Who's he talking to?

"Akashi..."

Akashi? Who's... Wait, that's me! But who's speaking? What happened?

_"Haha. You think you can escape? Think again!"_

Suddenly, the memories come rushing back. No. No. No. I continuously chanted. Did I get caught? I was such a fool! Why did I think I would be able to run away?! I never could before...

"Akashi!"

But wait, that's not his voice. Why is everything so dark?

"Akashi, wake up!"

Wake up? Feeling my senses returning to me, I realized I was lying down and someone was lightly shaking my shoulders. Opening my eyes, I quickly shut them when light touched my sensitive eyes.

"Akashi?"

Curious to who was speaking, I forced my eyes open, only to stare into a pair of ocean blue eyes. Blinking, I took in the rest of this person's unfamiliar features, only to realize that they aren't unfamiliar at all. "Takao? Takao Kazunari?" I questioned. I am confused. Why is Shutoku's point guard here? ...And where is "here" exactly?

Noticing my confused expression, the owner of the Hawk Eyes answered my unasked questions, "I found you practically half dead in an alleyway and since you told me in your almost unconscious delirious mind that you didn't want me to bring you to the hospital, I brought you to my apartment." His... apartment? "Woah, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?!" He panicked, all wide eyed.

Crying? Confused, I brought my hand up to my cheek only to confirm that, yes indeed, I am crying. And that thought just made the little traitors fall even harder. Sobbing, I clutched the first support I could find which was Takao's t-shirt.

Unsure of what to do, I felt the raven haired male awkwardly pull me into an embrace and rub my back, whispering comforting words.

Between sobs, I managed to find my voice. "I don't know why I'm crying." I took a breath to try to stop the sobs that wracked my body. "I haven't cried in so... so many years." Finally able to catch my breath, as I started to calm down, "It's just that..."

"It's just what?" He whispered, still a little unsure what to say, and I can't blame him. My state of being right now is extremely pathetic and weak, compared to the Akashi Seijuro he last saw.

Noticing that my exhausted body was about to give in to sleep, he shifted gently, laying me down on what I now saw was a couch. Half asleep, my voice continued before my mind could apprehend it to stop, "It's just that I'm... just so... relieved," I muttered before I surrendered to darkness.

**~Haunted~**

To say it was a little awkward was an understatement. After the redhead woke up again, it took a couple of awkward moments to convince him to let me change his bandages. The rest of the weekend I stayed silent, except to ask if he needed anything like food, water, or another pillow, and if he needed to use the restroom. Which had been awkward at first, but concluding to himself that he couldn't do it on his own, he accepted, albeit a little reluctantly, me aiding him in going to the bathroom.

Most of the time, he slept, while I either played video games or forced myself to do homework. I was always tempted to ask him questions, but seeing him flinch every time I touch him, and his obvious distrust with the way he constantly observes me, waiting for me to use his rendered uselessness against him while he was conscious, had me hold my tongue.

It wasn't until Sunday evening that he surprised me with starting a conversation.

"I didn't know you played the guitar."

Glancing up from the homework on my desk that I had actually managed to procrastinate on, I looked over to my father's guitar in the corner of my room. "Ahh... yeah, a little." I smiled as the pleasant memories played in my head. "It was my father's."

_"Daddy! Daddy!" shouted two seven-year-old boys. "Teach us to play! Teach us to play!" They joyfully jumped into their father's lap._

_With a hearty laugh, their father delicately placed his guitar to the side of the couch. "Alright, alright. What's the magic word?"_

_"Please!" Both boys begged._

_"Alright, if that is what you want." He smiled lovingly down at his children._

_"Yay!" They cheered, "Daddy's going to teach us to play guitar!"_

"Ahh... It must be very special then."

Snapping out of my memories, I looked toward the guitar with slight sadness, "Yeah, it is. It's my only way of staying connected to him." I had to hide the guitar from my mother when she went crazy and sold everything that reminded her of them.

"I don't have anything to stay connected to my mom by..." He sadly muttered so quietly I doubted he meant it to be heard, so I decided not to comment on it.

After that, I finished doing my homework while he read a book I had given to occupy him. It was silent, but unlike before, it was a content silence and I felt like a small understanding bond had formed between us.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed~

**Please R & R,** _**please**__._


	7. Bonding

I'm so sorry it's been a while! I forgot about my short attention span when I said I would update at least once a week. My mind might waver to one or more fandoms before coming back to KnB so even I don't know how long it is between updates it could be like the next day or a couple or a week idk...but don't worry I'm already done with the next chapter and will post it tomorrow!

**Warnings: **possible OOCness (usually it has reason though), mentions of alcoholic parent, and self-harm

**Disclaimer: **obviously it wouldn't be on this website if I owned the characters: FANfiction, I don't own the characters except for those OCs, or the cover picture. But the story idea is mine though it could have been influenced by many, many...many stories I've read.

Hope you Enjoy!~ I really enjoyed writing this chapter once I wasn't distracted by other adorable characters from other fandoms (Gaara from Naruto for example -_-). I feel like it's my best chapter yet but that makes sense since I'm a new writer I'm still developing my writing style.

* * *

Every day for the next five weeks, mine and Akashi's relationship improved little by little. Not enough that we talked about anything too personal or deep, but enough that we learned a bit more about the other through many random conversations.

At first, the conversations were mostly one sided with me doing the talking and him listening intently. He would never add anything himself, except small hesitant questions here and there. When I asked him questions, he would answer with a nod or shake of his head, be very vague, or if a conversation or question sparked something unpleasant for him, then he would shut down on himself, and curl his body in a fetal position (or attempt to with his many fractures, large bruises, and cuts) seeming to try and hide from or prevent certain memories from attacking his remaining self control.

But as the days have gone by, he has talked more and more. First, by asking me more in-depth questions or comments to what I was talking about. Or by being the first to say good morning or good night, or by asking how my day was if he was awake when I got home.

I could tell he was afraid to show more vulnerability, especially since he had already accepted he was physically vulnerable, probably somewhere in the last few months. His state of mind and emotions, or just his emotions, since he seems to wrestle with some kind of internal force, are what he guards the most, refusing to lose that control and let go of what he believes is all that's left of his identity; what's still his. But he starts to open up only small parts of himself, making sure to keep the dark, sad, sewage hidden because those are his weaknesses, which his physical vulnerability can't compare to. That's why he shows these signs of weakness, like tiredness or physical pain, that from what I've learned he would have before, to the best of his abilities, never show a glimpse of, because they don't matter anymore. Them being exposed won't bring anywhere near as much damage as being exposed emotionally.

And yet, I'm also amazed. I can tell that whatever Akashi went through in the last couple months, only very few people in the world would be able to obtain some form of their previous selves. The rest, me included, would've given up; would've ended up as a living corpse. So Akashi showing sides of his personality is admirable. How can one continue living after that? Is he starting to trust me, or is he only showing me what he believes I would be unable to use against him, or harm him much, with?

One day, after a tiring day at school, I had taken one look at my math homework and yelled while pulling my hair before chucking my notebook at the wall opposite from my desk in overwhelmed frustration. I fumed as I heard a small snort off to the side. Turning, I saw a slightly amused expression on my injured guest, who had shown practically no emotion. This made my boiling anger simmer down as I scratched the back of my head bashfully, apologizing for my display. Instead of going back inside his shell, he surprised me by asking if I needed help with homework. Since then, whenever I needed assistance in my school work, he was willing to lend a hand, saying it was the least he could do to repay me for letting him stay in my house. Though, I would argue he didn't have to repay me at all; I was thankful for the help, and it decreased the amount of agonizing hours spent on school's number one weapon!

Eventually, he was more relaxed and talkative (as long as I avoided touchy subjects). I was always surprised by the childlike glee that I would've never imagined him to have when he started rambling on about fond events of his childhood those few times our conversations took him there.

For example, he told me that he used to ride horses and had owned a horse named Charlotte. How his family, when he was younger, had a stable behind the house; of course, this indirectly tells me that he lived in a large house and his family is, or was (my instincts tell me 'was', but I cannot be 100% sure), very wealthy. And that he and his cousins, whose houses shared the extravagant yard, would play games while riding their own stallions. Games like Polo, different kinds of races, or something made up, like the game one of his older cousins came up with where each rider would have a bag full of water balloons strapped to their steed and they would throw them at each other. And then, whoever was the driest in the end wins.

His face would become relaxed and radiate a deep tenderness whenever he talked about his childhood, almost as if he was trying to go back in time to those carefree and joy-filled moments when he was a little kid, ignorant of the toil and struggle of the world.

And he isn't alone in that regard either, since I'm the same as him when I tell stories of my childhood as well. I would get a far off look, trying to bring back the memories and paint them vividly in front of me. Like when I told him how I got into basketball. How my brother and I had watched some teenage boys play in the park on the outside court when we were seven, and us taking a strong liking to the sport; my brother more than me then. Him announcing out loud that we would would become pros and with him being older and I sticking to him like glue, I became in love with the sport as well.

I have also accumulated many small facts about the redhead. Things such as he greatly enjoys the game shogi, his birthday is December 20th, and his favorite food is tofu soup.

Mostly only things like that, though. And the times we talked about our past were not frequent and when it did come up, it was never anything unpleasant or would make us feel uncomfortable. And the only other stories of his past he shared, besides his childhood, were stories that I would often find myself curiously asking about, of his middle school basketball team: the infamous Generation of Miracles.

I would be talking about my day on how I would get to practice and then, of course, Shin-chan was mentioned. It was actually really nice to talk to someone like this, with the tsundere megane as the closest thing to a best friend I've got, I can now talk about things I didn't have the chance to talk about to someone else before. Because I can't really talk about my crush on him to the shooting ace himself, let alone someone else. I would never tell anyone, not even Akashi, but he had figured it out on his own (apparently, the way my eyes light up and me smiling whenever I talk about him made it pretty obvious to the already-extremely-observant former basketball captain). The moment after he forced me to confess my feelings for his former teammate out loud, using reverse psychology, I almost didn't see the real tiny smile on his face for the first time. I would complain about all of Shin-chan's flaws, especially his tsundereness and horoscope obsession, and then I would groan, asking if he was this bad back in middle school.

Haha. Apparently, he was. Akashi told me the story of when the green head's lucky item of that day was a bag of mini shortbread cookies, thickly coated in vanilla icing. And how from returning to the Kiseki no Sedai's unofficial bench from a meeting with their captain, Nijimura-sempai, Akashi, and Shin-chan saw the spectacle of Aomine, Kise, and Momoi blaming and scolding Murasakibara and Kuroko on eating all of it. It, referring to the horoscope-lover's lucky item (haha. Wasn't so lucky, was it!).

Akashi goes on, saying how the shooting guard curled himself in a ball in a corner of the locker room, refusing to move in fear of bad luck coming to get him. "T-to-today ca-c-cancer h-has the w-worst luck-k-k," impersonated the redhead in a very realistic whimpery Shin-chan voice. I almost peed my pants laughing so hard! And Akashi smiled bigger than before, but still small. He went on to say how he had gotten so irritated by Shin-chan's whining and unproductivity that he punished the two main culprits of the crime to go buy the paranoid tsundere, with their own money, a new bag of those snacks without opening it or buying anything else.

My lungs burned with laughter as I imagined a younger looking Murasakibara and Kuroko looking at the vanilla snacks with tortuous longing on their trip back from the store. The Generation of Miracles, along with Momoi, could have definitely been in a comedy with all their very unique and contrasting personalities.

Shin-chan had told me the story of how they all broke apart. Ever since he told me, Akashi's drastic change had me always confused, but whenever I asked for more detail, he told me he was just as confused as I was.

So far, I have never asked about how he got injured or how he ended up in the alleyway, even though I sometimes had to bite my tongue until it hurt to prevent me from questioning him. I knew all it would take was a slip of the tongue to send Akashi back into a shell. I would use the simile of an untrusting and timid alley cat.

It's just like coaxing the snarling homeless cat out from behind a dumpster. Offering food in your palm as the poor hungry feline slowly comes out of the shadows, making sure to let this human know he doesn't trust him by continuing to growl and hiss. Then, with a quick but careful snatch, he grabs the treat before going back to safety in the shadows, but then increasing it's pace to the next treat laid out in your palm. Eventually, the cat stays near your hand but still looks suspiciously at you from time to time. But if you had reached out to pet the cat before it felt comfortable near you, then he would run back behind the dumpster and would not come out when you're around anymore.

The hardest time to remain silent is when I change his bandages, which still cover most of his body and hides the slowly-healing massive injuries. They have barely healed these past couple weeks.

I want him to tell me what happened on his own without me prying, but I've not even gotten a tiny clue throughout our conversations. I have been contemplating on how I could get him to open up more, but I still couldn't come up with anything.

These were the thoughts in my head as I unlocked the door to my house. Heading inside, I was relieved to find my mother no where in sight, because even though I knew she was out on a "business trip", which I air quote since I don't know if she's actually on one or not, I could never tell, I am constantly paranoid after school that she'll be home suddenly without knowing.

I unlocked my bedroom door with a customized lock and key that opens to reveal a staircase, which then leads to the second floor of the house. The second floor was just a giant room with only one door, which led to the bathroom and the double doors meant for storage, but I use it as a walk-in closet. The room was most likely built to be a studio of some sorts. However, my brother, Isamu, and I had made it into our dream bedroom when my family had moved here long ago.

Going up the stairs to what was now just my bedroom, I expected to see the now normal routine of Akashi sleeping, resting, or reading on the large worn out royal blue couch at the far end of the room. Instead, I find the couch Akashi-less with only a bookmarked book in it. However, much to my surprise, I notice the bathroom light on, indicting my tremendously impaired guest had actually made it a few steps on his own without blacking out. Or maybe he did, and going to the bathroom independently was a day long effort.

After dropping my backpack and basketball bag in front of my bed, I flung myself onto the soft haven. Nothing exciting happened today, but it still drained me both mentally and physically. The usual. Mostly because of practice, though. Even if I'm the captain, training doesn't get easier. In fact, it's harder.

Glancing at the still occupied bathroom, I couldn't help but feel a small amount of pity for the once-powerful emperor. By now, we have already fallen into a daily routine. During the weekdays, I would wake up, take a shower, then listen to see if my mother has left for work even if she wasn't home or wasn't expected to be home. Then, after making sure the coast was clear, I would go make myself and the redhead breakfast (I've prided myself in becoming a pretty good cook over the years). Breakfast usually consisted of bacon, eggs varying from scrambled, over easy, over hard, or sunny side up, and then either pancakes, waffles, or if I'm running a little behind schedule, egg in a hole, which was just toast with an egg in the circle cut out. Since last year, I challenged myself to learn and make cuisine from different cultures from Italian to Chinese, Mexican to French, etc. Right now, it was American.

Next, I would go wake Akashi up, aid him in going to the bathroom, and, if necessary, eating, but he's been feeding himself for the past week. Then, I would take out one of the two bentos I made last night for us (I store these in the mini fridge I have next to the couch so my mother won't steal them), leaving Akashi's in there in reaching distance. Then, I finish getting ready for school, get him anything he needs to occupy himself, like a book from the old bookshelf filled with mostly my father's books. Or I just hand him the remote to watch fast streaming or whatever he wants on the medium-sized flat screen TV; I had actually won that at a festival last year at a tricky gun-shooting game that Shin-chan said I should try, since, apparently, Scorpios were very lucky that day. And then, I leave for school after locking up.

Throughout the day, I check up on him by texting him with my second phone that I own for emergencies only (as in, if I ever decide to run away, then I would still be able to have a phone that my mother wouldn't know the number to).

And then, after I come home after practice until the time I go to bed consists of me doing homework, which has been easier and faster since Akashi was helping me, or watch T.V. Often, he gives tips or ideas for plays for my team when I'm looking over the next day's regimen.

Or once, I was trying to convince the redhead that video games actually had more purpose by teaching skills, like quick comprehension and thinking, and doesn't just rapidly kill brain cells. I was even able to convince the former basketball player to try to play a video game, once he healed enough to hold and work a control. I knew that even the great Akashi Seijuro could fail at something, just wasn't expecting it to be video games, especially failing so badly even after I did step by step instructions. Deciding he lost enough (I was afraid many times he was going to chuck the controller at the game console), he claimed it an unproductive waste of time and told me to take the piece of plastic from his hands before he brought it's pointless life to an end; I shit you not, he said it exactly like that. And I had almost doubled over, howling with laughter, if it were not for the glare, offering unrelenting torture to anyone who defied it's authority. Sometimes, in the corner of my eye I catch him curiously watching me over the top of the current piece of literature he was reading as I slay oncoming swarms of ogres or zombies.

Anything to entertain ourselves in that room. Only to be interrupted when I go downstairs to make dinner.

I sit up when I hear the click of the lock on the bathroom door, before it opens to reveal a beaten up and thinner version of the once-proud captain of Rakuzan. Noticing me, Akashi gives a nod of acknowledgment before he slowly limps towards the couch. He's wearing my navy blue T-shirt with a sunglasses-wearing brown dog, DJing, with a pair of large red headphones over his floppy ears printed on the front. The shirt only being a tad bit too big for him. He also has on my pair of red basketball shorts with black strips on the side. Along with a pair of my ankle socks, one sock purple with blue circles, the other a bright orange with purple lines along it. I mentally snicker when I recall the recent memory of Akashi looking appalled at these colorful and patterned socks this morning when I was getting clothes for him to change into, and then looking horrified when I told him that only funky-looking socks like these were clean. And then, bandages wrapped around his head, neck, shoulders, back, torso, and thighs completing his normal look for his duration of his stay here.

I go over to aid him in what was to him a long, rigorous trek of head-splitting pain from the bathroom to the couch. Supporting his back as he slowly lays down, being mindful of his injuries, I scan the visible bruises marking his arms and legs that aren't bandaged and note that they're starting to look better, turning from a deep black surrounded by sickening yellow skin to a now medium toned purple with new pink skin around them. "I'm guessing you were so sick of the couch you decided to leave it and even make it all the way to the bathroom, though your injuries aren't move-around worthy?" I say jokingly.

"Ah... I guess, but it definitely doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment with this amount of pain. I feel like I'm never going to be able to ditch this couch," he states in a humored, but tired, voice as he brings an arm over his eyes.

"Yeah, it probably doesn't feel like you're healing, because it's going so slow. And don't say that; you're hurting the couch's feelings. It loves having you lay on it all day," I continued with a tease. I pick up the empty bento on the table and trash that had missed the tiny trash can next to the mini fridge.

He chuckled lazily, "Well, too bad for the couch then, because I'm starting to hate it. Maybe once I'm all healed, I'll burn it along with your game console... Oh, and your obnoxious patterned socks as well."

"What!? By this rate, once you're healed, my room will be empty!" I drawl dramatically. I start heading towards the stairs, carrying with me our two empty lunch boxes.

With a smirk on his face, he acted as if he was thinking about a compromise that would greatly benefit him, "Well... Maybe your things can be saved if you make me tofu soup for dinner." It could have been my imagination but I could see his eyes light up with childlike excitement when he mentioned his favorite dish.

"Oh, if that's the price I have to pay to save my precious belongings, than I guess I have no choice," trying my best to play along with the act by making a defeated look, it failed when a grin took over my face. Leaving with a chuckle, I head downstairs.

Bringing the dishes downstairs to the kitchen sink, I again tried thinking of ways to get him to open up more on a personal level than only a friendly teasing relation. While rinsing the bento boxes and the dishes from breakfast and putting them in the dish washer, I suddenly remembered the tactic my father used on my brother to get him to open up about how he had gotten those bruises.

It was two years before that day: we were ten and walking home from school, cutting through the park like usual, when we saw that a bunch of middle school boys were picking on some girl near the basketball courts. And with my brother never being one to do nothing when someone needed help, fought them (I had made sure that the girl was okay). After putting a bandaid on the girl's scraped knee, which our mother gives a ton to us for all our cuts and scraps we receive when she's not around, I look to see my brother had been cornered by the four boys. Luckily, some adults had come around and stopped it before it got too out of hand. Though my brother grumbled and complained the whole way home about meddling adults and not getting a war scar, I was just glad he didn't attain any permanent damage.

When we got home, however, my brother wouldn't say a word about what happened, even though it was obvious that he got into a fight, but since this was his first real fight, he was scared of the consequences. So to get him to talk, our dad started telling us about the first time he got into a fight and how his father didn't yell at him, but gave him tips on what to do in that kind of situation if it were to happen again. To get my brother to talk, our father told one of his life stories to relate to Isamu and make him less hesitant to tell him. It had worked.

With this idea in my head, I began to think what I could tell about myself that might relate to Akashi's situation as I started making dinner. It's hard to think of something to relate closely to the redhead, since I have no idea what his situation could be. Though it's obvious one or more people have physically abused him. Maybe I should just share about that day? I haven't told anyone about it before. Maybe it could also benefit me by decreasing the untold weight on my shoulders.

This is my second time making tofu soup. The first time, the ex-captain had threatened to throw a giant hard-covered encyclopedia he somehow got possession of at his arch nemesis: my game console (his seemingly favorite threat), which he named The Brain Devourer, when he got annoyed by the continuous streams of PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW noises when I got in combat. he decided to spare The Brain Devourer if I learned how to make him tofu soup. I only burned one batch before I had succeeded in satisfying Akashi's refine taste buds (yeah, it's already quite obvious he was at least raised rich, with the way he acts sometimes).

While I start chopping the vegetables, I start to think about how Akashi must feel suffocated, being confined to one place for so long. During the day, when I'm gone, must be boring and irritating for the former captain. Until now, he had been unable to stand up by himself and sitting up on his own was still too painful for him as well. I wonder what made him decide to walk to the bathroom on his own this afternoon. I guess I would get so impatient with just lying down for so long that I would force myself to make an effort to move as well.

After dinner was ready, I went upstairs where we eat at the coffee table in front of the couch. Now all I had to do was steer a conversation to more personal topics.

At first, we talked about random things like the book he was reading or how my day went. And I was starting to think I would never be able to bring it up when, suddenly, Akashi gave the perfect opportunity.

"As you could already tell, I had forced myself to walk today. I wanted to actually feel like I'm healing," Akashi paused, making it look like he was unsure if he should continue or not as he stared up at the ceiling. However, deciding to in the end he continued, "I first aimed for making it to your bookshelf before heading towards the bathroom. It took me a while," he snorted, "Then, after picking one of the older looking books up, I noticed it had a lot of notes in it. I was wondering who wrote it, since it didn't look like your handwriting." He showed me a dusty worn-out book with an indistinguishable cover.

While flipping through the pages and scanning over some of the many annotations and notes scribbled around the printed text, memories flooded my system. "Oh, this is one of the adventure books my dad loved so much. He would write all sorts of things in them from what he liked to what he didn't like. When I was really little, he would read them to me and my brother and have us pick which character we wanted to be. And then he would read it out loud, but with our names instead of those characters," I smiled at the memories flooding my head.

"You talk about them a lot."

"Huh?"

"Your dad and brother."

"Ah... Yeah," I smile painfully. By reminding myself of what I wanted to say, I took this opportunity, "I love them a lot. Or loved, I should say. My dad was like my hero, and he and my brother were my role models."

"Oh, I see..." I could tell that what I said hit suppressed memories for him. Suddenly, I had second thoughts about telling my story. Was he emotionally prepared for this kind of conversation? What if he recoiled into himself? Should I risk the still fragile bond that has been slowly forming between us?

"How long?"

His sudden question threw me off guard. "How long what?" I was confused. Was he actually trying to deepen the conversation?

I could tell he was pushing himself to face whatever I had to say, even if he was trying to hide it. He was testing himself. I just know he was putting up the facade for not only me, but himself as well, that the many internal injuries he no doubt had, weren't as many and deep as they were. "How long?... Since your dad and brother died?" He spoke softly, avoiding the likely tremble that would've been in his voice if he spoke any louder.

Overcoming my surprise, I answered, "Five."

"That's not that long."

"Yeah, I guess. But it's not good to bottle things up for so long. It makes you think more than you should." Akashi had a far-away look on his face as he bit his lip in thought (an unconscious habit he seemed to have gotten while staying here; he would never do it if he knew about it), making those second thoughts to come back.

I could still see the hesitation and uncertainty that slipped through his barriers in his eyes, like he was unsure of whether or not he should know. Eventually, curiosity won over, "What happened then? To your dad and brother?"

"It's kind of a long story if you're still willing to listen." After thinking for a moment, he slowly nodded his head for me to continue.

Sighing, I prepared myself to tell about the tragedy that I've never uttered to anyone about, and that I once tried so hard to suppress, "It was five years ago when I was twelve. My brother, Isamu, and I had decided to attend different middle schools..."

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**Please Review, **seriously review or I'll...ok I'm not good at threats so come up with one yourself and then be scared and review!


	8. Memory

Here's the next chapter! It seems having you guys threaten yourselves worked so do it again especially since I don't have the next chapter done...So thx to those reviewed!

**Warning****: **the warnings last chapter were actually for this chapter since I had written them together but decided to split them. Anyways possible OOCness, mentions of alcoholic parent and self-harm.

**Disclaimer****: **own? no...

Hope you enjoy~!

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_It was only the second month of our first year going to different schools. Nii-san had decided to go to a more prestigious school that was known to have a strong basketball team. He was good at everything, especially basketball. Even though we started playing at the same time, he had always been better._

_I sighed as I looked at the basketball bean bag pillow in my lap. I felt hot and my throat felt like it was on fire, while my headache pounded loudly in my ears._

_"Yep. It seems like you have a fever, kiddo," said my dad as he looked at the thermometer. Getting off my bed, he headed towards the bathroom, "I'll get some medicine for you. Just lie down."_

_Laying down, I stared at the ceiling in a depressed mood. Today was Nii-san's first basketball game. Since he was in the first string and was a starter, he would get a lot of playing time. I had hoped to be better by then, but sadly, I would miss it._

_"Alright, sit up and take your medicine. Wouldn't want you to choke," Dad took the tiny measuring cup and filled it up with what I dubbed as poison._

_"I don't wanna, daddy," I whined. Why does something that's suppose to make you feel better taste like something that kills you instead?_

_"Come on, Kazunari. If you don't take it, you'll never get better," Dad smiled, sitting on the edge of my bed, holding the cup of poison towards me._

_"Nuh-uh," I shook my head rapidly. Which only made my head throb more._

_"If you don't, then you won't be better by tomorrow for me to take you and Isamu to your guys' favorite restaurant," he laughed._

_Oh, right. Whether Nii-san won his game or not, we were going to that World Cuisine restaurant we loved so much that had different dishes from many places around the world. Groaning, I took the tiny cup and lifted it up to my mouth. Wrinkling my nose in a disgust, I quickly gulped the nasty liquid down my throat. Shoving the empty cup towards Dad, I hastily grabbed my water bottle on my bedside table and drank the entire bottle to get rid of the awful taste._

_Laughing, Dad ruffled my hair before standing up, "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" I just responded with a tortured sound. "Now get some rest. I'll tape the game so you can watch it when you're all better, okay?" After grunting in agreement, I snuggled under my blankets and my dad tucked me in. Giving me a kiss on the forehead that I had no energy to protest against, saying, "I'm to old for sleep well kisses," like I usually do. I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep, but not before hearing my father whisper, "Sleep well, Kazunari. Get better. Love ya."_

_**~Memory~**_

_I remember the dream I had that day. It was of Isamu and I. We were playing basketball together. We were playing on an outside court. Us two against four high school guys. We were winning. I remember feeling happy throughout it all. It was my dream to play alongside Nii-san in a basketball game. However, that joyful feeling was short lived._

_"Kazunari! Kazunari!"_

_I woke up by someone frantically calling my name._

_"Kazunari!"_

_I blinked my eyes open. I still felt miserable but I could tell that the shitty medicine actually dulled the pain. Taking in the now fully-focused form of the person hovering over me, yelling my name, I noticed it was our neighbor, Mrs. Niwa. The old lady who always took us in when our parents had to be on a business trip._

_"Kazunari! I'm so sorry!" She cried. I suddenly noticed that she seemed panicked with tears running down her face._

_"Wha-What happened?" I asked, much more awake. I just could tell it wasn't good, "Where's mom? What time is it? Is Dad and Nii-san home yet?" I frantically questioned. Sitting up, I ignored the sick feeling threatening to overwhelm me._

_While she collected her crumbling composure, I was ready to snap at her to hurry up and say it when she spilled the news that drastically changed my life, "Your m-mother went to the hospital as quickly as she got the call." Wait, hospital? I was starting to panic. "Y-your father and brother got into a c-car accident and were immediately sent to the hospital. I'm supposed to watch over you and..."_

_"No!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, causing the woman to flinch and step back, covering her ears. "Take me to the hospital now!" I ripped the blankets off of me and quickly stood up, but having to catch myself from the sudden dizzy spell. I felt the hot tears run down my face as I argued against all her protests. I grabbed my light jacket and ran downstairs to the front door. Mrs. Niwa had just reached the bottom of the stairs when I had finished putting on my shoes. As quickly as possible, we went outside, got in her car, and drove to the hospital._

_I remember praying and hoping with all my might that they would be alright and that I would see them well and alive soon._

_The moment the old woman pulled into a parking space, I leaped out of the car and bounded into the hospital. The dizziness from being ill made me feel like I was going to pass out any moment, but I pushed it aside as best as I could._

_After finding the waiting room, I spotted my mother bawling into her scarf. Slowing down my pace to a fast walk, I made my way over to her. The time waiting for unpredictable news was excruciating. I just remember comforting my mother as we painstakingly waited for someone to come announce the state of our two family members._

_How long we waited there, praying and hoping and crying, felt like an eternity before a nurse came up to us with a somber face. At that instant, my mom cried even harder than she had ever before as I stopped to stare expectantly at the poor nurse who had to give us the tragic news._

_Dad was dead. He died on impact. Nii-san was in a coma, unsure if he would get out of it._

_Those three sentences stabbed me hard and all I could do was stare numbly at the crying form of my mother._

_**~Memory~**_

_A lot changed from that day on. Mother would lock herself in her room for hours on end, either crying or sleeping, having cried herself to sleep. I don't remember bawling much then. It was mostly silent attacks, with no noise as the tears cascaded down my cheeks._

_I don't remember Dad's funeral, except for seeing him look so peaceful in the casket. My mind was so overwhelmed with sadness that I felt numb, like I was just going through the motions._

_I visited Nii-san everyday. I would go there once school was over and sit by his bed until I was kicked out at closing time. A lot of the time, I stared into space, talked about my day, or told him to hurry up and wake up like he could hear me. But I knew he couldn't. The doctors told me so._

_This went on for a year. I was barely passing all my classes and I had quit the basketball team. I had also started cutting along the top of my thighs to make the pain go away. The pain from the physical injuries masking the pain of the internal wounds._

_Mother, after literally being dragged out of her room by her coworker, started drowning herself in her work. Since she was never home and Mrs. Niwa had moved out a few months ago, I had to learn how to take care of myself. I had to do things I never expected to do at that age like cook, do the laundry, keep track of money, and do taxes, since mother wouldn't. I had to take care of myself and when she was home, my mom as well._

_At that time, I avoided everything that reminded me of my dad and forced myself to think positively about my brother recovering._

_However, fourteen months after the accident, we got a call. It was the hospital. We couldn't afford to kept Nii-san on life support. And with his condition only getting worse, there was no hope for recovery. In other words, they had to pull the plug._

_Letting us say our goodbyes before they did so, we made our way to the hospital. Mother had avoided visiting Nii-san before then. Probably not wanting to see him in the state he was in, trying to keep the last image of him as being happy and healthy. She didn't cry, which surprised me. But I did a lot. She didn't stay long, just saying a quick farewell and an, "I love you. You were a great son that I am proud of."_

_After she left, I remember rambling on about how much I loved him and thought he was the coolest guy I ever met, right next to Dad. I remember promising to live the rest of his life for him, and father as well. I would live for them. I would quit cutting and live my life to the fullest because that's what they would want me to do._

_After saying what I wanted to say, I left, leaving so much still unsaid. My entire body shook in painstaking numbness as I exited the hospital with my mother. I kept on thinking, "Now. Now they must've pulled it. He's gone for good now. Forever. Never again, will I see him happy and alive. Never, will I get to play basketball with him again."_

_Nii-san's funeral was different than Dad's, because this time, I didn't feel as lost or broken. This time, I had my reasons to live. I would work hard and try my best to live life with no regrets._

_And that's what I did. I worked hard to bring up my grades. I rejoined the basketball team and gave it my all. Basketball was the way I felt closest to my brother, after all._

_However, a week after Nii-san was buried, mother lost it. Everything that reminded her of Dad or Isamu, that was not safely locked behind my door, was burned, smashed, ripped, or buried. About an hour after the loud noises, gave way to silence. I was able to uncurl my body from the fetal position I had formed myself into through my panic attack in fear. I exited my room to survey the damage. I nearly broke down crying again when I saw the amounts of wreckage._

_Everywhere, there were some undistinguished kind of objects in some kind of ruin. And in the middle of it all, on the now ripped-up dark green sofa, lay my mother. She must've been drinking the entire time, since she was out cold._

_Cleaning up the mess was like having mini anxiety attacks, or panic attacks, with every pile of shredded picture, shattered glass, pieces of wood, piles of ash, strips of clothing, and many other things I came across._

_Cleaning felt like forever. Nothing was left to be scavenged, except for the things in my room. After cleaning, I carried, or more like dragged, my mom to her room, which had also been a disaster area, and tucked her in bed._

_After that day, mother started drinking more and more. She would rarely be home except for late at night until really early in the morning, or not at all. She also, unfortunately, stopped ignoring me. She became verbally abusive. Yelling at me, telling me that I was a horrible child, that I was a failure, that it was my fault they died, that I should've died instead of Nii-san. That last one hurt the most, because even though they all stung, I knew the rest were mostly directed at herself through me. But knowing that me being alive was worse than having no family hurt._

_I would lock myself in my room when we were both in the house, not risking to see if her abuse would go further than words. I would hang out with my friends, stay after practice, or go to the park and the outside court alone. Anything to prevent me from going home and facing reality._

**~Memory~**

"She was almost never sober when I saw her. When she was though, she would attempt to act like the loving mother she once was, but that woman is just a memory now..." I looked to the side, towards the window, as I finished my story. I was surprised that I didn't cry throughout the entire time, but I guess I had spilled all my tears back then.

**I heard Akashi sigh. I glanced at him to see him deep in thought. Suddenly, in a voice so quiet I had to strain my ears to hear, he muttered, "Ah... My mother was loving until her very end, but..." I held my breath, knowing that he was most likely speaking without thinking, and I didn't want to stop him, "But... My father was never a loving man," he softly stated as he unconsciously lifted up his left hand to touch the bandages around his head.**

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**Thx for reading! :) Review si vous plait! **(I'm learning French, but even though I'm in French 5 I still feel like I know nothing -_-')


	9. Escape

Thanks for everyone who fav'd, followed and reviewed. Also continuous thanks to **SnowyHeavens** for being an awesome beta.

***Noticing that I've written this entire story in past tense, I've decided to change it to present from now on since it fits more with the story. **Ugh tenses kill me...I always have to have extra caution with tense, that and overusing words like as, only, like, etc.

Every chapter I do, I always wonder how I'm going to write it since I thought I hated writing and I sucked at it, but then once I start typing BAM the chapter is magically written. After I tend to stare at my surprisingly magical fingers in amazement thinking that maybe all those hours I spent panicking when I receive an essay or writing assignment has been even more so pointless if writing comes this effortlessly to me. I have even enjoyed it recently! Not just writing this story but my last giant essay I had actually kind of liked writing it...What's wrong with me! I thought I hated to write!...Sorry about the "cough" rant I'm just sort of befuddled with the fact I'm writing a FANFIC! (Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I don't suck at writing since I stress until the last minute before doing a writing assignment but still get an A or B on what I thought I bullshited).

Warnings: possible OOCness, mentions of alcoholic parent and sexual harassment

Disclaimer: me no own characters

Enjoy~ :)

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I sit on a bench, downing the contents of my water bottle during the five-minute break in practice. It was just yesterday that I told someone, for the first time, about my dad and brother's death. And it was just yesterday that Akashi let out the biggest hint to his situation.

_"But... My father was never a loving man."_

Does he know that he even said that? He could've just said it unconsciously, since he fell asleep a little after. Would he say something like that to me if he was conscious of what he was saying? I would like to think so, but I know that gaining his trust will take a lot more from me.

"Takao, it's been five minutes."

Snapping out of my thoughts, I glance to my side to see Shin-chan's face a few inches from mine. Quickly realizing the small proximity, he rapidly turns his head and stands up to walk back to the court. However, I had noticed the light blush that had adorned his cheeks before he turned away. This makes me confused. Why was Shin-chan so close to my face in the first place, and what was with that blush?

Throughout the rest of practice, I notice the shooting guard seems a little distracted. Was he like this since the beginning of practice and I'm just noticing it now, or is it just now? But after practice, these thoughts quickly retreat from my head when I notice I got a text message from Akashi.

-Your mother's home.

My body goes cold and I begin to panic. What? She isn't supposed to be home yet! Is she going to try to break down my door? What would she do to Akashi? After fumbling with my phone a little bit, I manage to call the injured redhead.

Ring. Pick up. Ring. Pick up. Ring. Come on!

_"Hello?"_ Rasps the tired voice of my guest.

"Hey A-" I clamp my mouth shut when I see Shin-chan staring at me curiously while he changes out of his practice clothes. Wouldn't want to say Akashi's name out loud. "Um, so are you okay? Has she tried to get in?" I bring my voice to a lower level and turn away from the prying eyes of the green head.

_"Yeah, I'm fine. When she first arrived, I heard her pounding on your door and trying to turn the knob, but after a little while she gave up with a final kick to it. And don't worry, I didn't make any noise."_

"Oh, thank goodness. Do you hear anything right now?"

_"Yeah, it seems like she's yelling at someone over the phone or something."_

"Okay. I guess I'll stay away from the house for a while, until she drinks herself to sleep. Will you be okay on your own?" I ask, unsure. I don't want him to force himself to move if he can't on his own.

_"Yeah, I'll be fine."_

"Okay, good. There's some leftovers from yesterday's dinner in the fridge. If you get hungry otherwise, I'll bring home dinner. Sorry I can't heat it up for you."

_"That's fine. It's tofu soup, whether it's hot or cold," _he chuckles.

"Alright. I'll return around seven or eight, since she's usually out by then."

_"Alright."_

After hanging up, I turn to Shin-chan standing really close and staring down at me with an unidentifiable expression. "Who were you talking to?" he asks in a monotone voice fixing his glasses with a taped finger.

"Uh... No one important." I nervously scratch the back of my head. I start stripping off my sweaty clothes to change. What's his problem today anyways? "Ne, Shin-chan, do you want to go eat out somewhere tonight, since we haven't done that in a while?"

"And whose fault is that? You've disappeared after practice for the past month," he states angrily.

"Oh~ Does Shin-chan miss me?" I tease, but, of course, my pulse has to flutter with obnoxious hope, looking for anything that might hint to him liking me back (sometimes, I want to say that I feel like such a girl, but, really, I just feel human).

"Of course not. It's just that it's out of character for you and you're the team captain, so you have to be focused." Pink dusts his cheeks. He pushes up his glasses in embarrassment.

The blood rushes to my face. I quickly turn my head and cough into my hand. "Hehe. Of course you didn't," I mutter under my breath, then turning back to the fidgety tsundere. "Well, whether you missed me or not, we should still go out to eat somewhere. I'll even drive," I chirp, finishing tying the shoe laces on my street shoes.

"Of course you're driving. You always lose to rock paper scissors, idiot." The horoscope-lover tosses his bag over his shoulder and then picks up his pig statue (his lucky item, obviously), heading towards the exit, expecting me to follow. Grabbing my bag, I dash after the arrogant tsundere that somehow stole my heart.

After we eat dinner, we go our separate ways. I enter my house, relieved to hear snoring, and then go to bed after giving Akashi his dinner, that I had bought with my meal, telling Shin-chan that I was really hungry. Though, of course, he yelled at me when I said I would bring it home to eat later, chastising that I shouldn't have gotten so much. I fall asleep, dreaming about the green-headed basketball player.

**~Escape~**

_The question of "Where am I?" is the first thing I think of when I open my eyes to the blinding sun. Realizing I'm lying down, I sit up and run my hand through my bangs, which have grown back to the length I had them before my other persona cut them with Midorima's scissors._

_Standing, I take in my surroundings. I'm in some kind of field. The long grass and variation of flowers seem to sway to a gentle breeze though I do not feel one. _

_Suddenly, I realize two things. One: I no longer feel pain from the multiple injuries that should be littering my body. And two: I'm not alone._

_Squinting my eyes. I try to make out the figure standing aways away, with their back towards me. Bringing my hand up to shield the bright light, I take in the features of a woman with long, flowing raven hair._

_My eyes widen and I run as fast as I can towards the woman whose name I yell out in joyful hope, "Mother! Mother!"_

_But once I grab her shoulder in earnest joy and turn her to face me, I flinch away like I've been burned. Her face has a shocked expression on it, as well as streaks of blood dripping down her cheeks to her chin. And it's not just her face; all the way down, along her small frame, the red liquid travels. I step back, seeing the field has turned into a giant pool of blood._

_"S-Sei-Seijuro," spoke my mother in fear. I glance up at her, seeing her start to sink into the red._

_"Mother!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I run towards her, but the harder I run the farther she appears. I hear a deep chuckling vibrating through the air, intensifying in volume the more I try._

_"Seijuro! Help me!" terror-filled shrieks escape her as she sinks out of my sight. The last view I have of her is her eyes full of haunting tears._

_"Mother!" I scream again. I fall, my knees giving out under me. Hot tears run down my face. "I'm sorry, Mother. I failed."_

_The laughter grows closer until it's coming from right behind me. I freeze in fear. My entire body turning to ice as I refuse to move an inch._

_"Pathetic, isn't it?" The dark voice rumbles in amusement behind me, "How you failed to save her when you were there; within reach."_

_I refuse to make a sound, chanting in my head, "Go away. Please, go away. Go, please. Just leave me alone, just this once."_

_But the man I've come to despise only continues, finding my reaction hilarious, for he laughs loudly. Each bellow of his voice sends frozen needles to pierce my skin in terror. "Now, you're mine. Forever." __**Forever. Forever. Forever.**_ _"You'll never escape, no matter where you run," his disgusting breath whispers in my ear._

_An involuntary shiver runs down my back. I internally scream, "No! No! Don't touch me! Don't, please!" My cries become vocalized once a rough hand starts to travel up my shirt._

_"NO!" I frantically try to get away, but my body is rooted to the ground. I try hitting his hands away, but that only causes him to start hitting me._

"Akashi!"

_"Why?" I sob, continuing to struggle. But my body becomes limp. I want to hurl when his disgusting hands run up and down along my chest and stomach. Why was he doing this? I feel weak and worthless. I feel so disgusted with myself._

"Akashi!"

I gasp, opening my eyes. My body pushes itself into a sitting position. My body, still racked in fear and sobs, shakes as I take in my surroundings.

Takao is kneeling next to the couch, holding me in a loose embrace with panic written all over his being. He asks if I'm okay and I answer with a shake of my head. How could I be okay after that? Even if it was a nightmare, it felt more like a vivid memory.

Suddenly, I hear pounding on Takao's bedroom door. And an angry voice following, "Kazunari, what was all that screaming?! Is there someone in there with you?!" I feel the raven-haired teen's arms tense around me. His whole body going stiff. His mother's yelling and pounding continue, "Kazunari! You know how I feel about you having guests! Open the door right now, young man, or I'll hurt you and your friend!"

I start to tremble again, the sobs threatening to come back. I'm not sure how, but for some reason, all I can hear is _his_ voice pounding in my ears instead. I begin to panic seeing Takao head towards the stairs. Is he going to let her in? Is she going to hurt me? Self hatred eats away at my insides while water escapes the sides of my eyes. **Pathetic. Weak. Worthless.** I continue to repeat these words full of malice to myself.

"Go away, mom. There's no one else in here but me!" The basketball player yells at the door. "I find it funny how fast you are to accuse me of having a guest when you hear a scream, instead of checking to see if I'm alright like a mother should!" He screams in frustration. Even though I can't see him from where I am, I know he's clenching his fists and teeth in barely contained anger.

"What did you say, you ungrateful brat!" Screeches the woman on the other side of the door. "I'm your mother, you worthless excuse for a son!"

_Worthless. Worthless. Worthless._ I begin hyperventilating with that word continuing to repeat in my head like some sort of broken record, stuck playing the last word over and over again. I grip my head, trying to cover my ears from this woman's similar words. I can sense my control threatening to snap. I clench my eyes shut.

"'Mother?' Last time I checked, the woman that I called 'mother' died a long time ago!"

"That's it! You and your friend can't hide in your room forever, and once you leave, I'll be waiting!"

I hear the creak of the steps as Takao storms up them and makes his way towards me. He kneels down again and puts an unsure hand on my back in comfort. "Are you okay?" he asks quietly. There is a slight shake in his voice. Slowing down my breathing, I collect the remaining fragments of composure I have left, calming myself before nodding.

He sighs, and then hearing some shifting around, I open my eyes to see he has moved over to his closet. After taking out a back pack, he empties his basketball bag before going around the room to grab clothes and other objects, to then stuff said items in either of the two sacks.

My hands, that were leaving my head to fall to my lap, freeze a few inches from my face as my eyes widen in realization. "W-what are you doing?" My overused throat rasps.

"Packing," he states simply. Brows furrowed as he continues to run around the room and bathroom, getting things to put in the bags. "We can't stay here. Though I could live with her abusing me, I won't let her abuse my friends," he angrily hisses the last part through tightly clenched teeth.

"But she said she would be waiting for us to leave this room," my voice tightens with nervousness, a lingering effect of my nightmare.

"She's drinking. Since she had already drunk a lot, it won't take as long before she falls asleep. Then we'll leave the house." Adding a few more things to the bags, he then zips them up. He has me put on a light grey thin sweater and a pair of black sweatpants over the clothes I already have on. As well as a pair of his old tennis shoes that would be too small for him, but fit me perfectly.

After listening a while, until he is certain his mother is asleep, he pulls on a light jacket and sweatpants and then puts on his outdoor shoes. Wearing the back pack over his front and flinging the bag over his shoulder, he helps me climb onto his back.

As quiet as possible, we leave the room and he locks up. We stay alert, keeping our eyes on his mother's sleeping form on the couch. Our bodies tense with every hitch in her breath. Turning the knob slowly, Takao opens the front door. He steps backwards out the door, making sure to keep her in sight until it closes.

"Where are we going?" I whisper, when we're about a block away from the house. I know I no longer have to be quiet, but it feels right to whisper in the silence of the night.

He seems to ponder. From the side view I have of his face, I can tell his actions haven't yet caught up to him. "I... I don't know. I just knew we had to leave right then," he speaks as quietly as I did, like we're afraid of his mother coming out of nowhere, disturbing the silent darkness that surrounds us. "I was thinking, since it's so nice out tonight, we could rest in, like, the park somewhere before deciding what we're going to do tomorrow."

Humming, I think of a good place we could go for the night. Suddenly, remembering a spot in the park that I frequented in middle school, I direct the basketball captain carrying me to it.

It is the spot under a small bridge. The bridge is in the forest part of the park that is reserved natural land that each city has to have. It used to run over a large stream of water, but over the years, it has dwindled to a tiny flow. However, this then left a cave-like space under it on the bank. This is where we end up as we situate ourselves on the, thankfully, dry soil.

Lying down on the large blanket Takao packed, I pluck some grass from a nearby clump as I reminisce of the past. "I used to come here often," I say quietly. The other teen looks up attentively from where he lies down to my right. "Back in middle school... When I would hide and escape from him," I hiss the last word.

"Your father?" he hesitantly asks. His question slightly surprises me, wondering how he knows about that. As if reading my mind, he answers, "You said your father was never a loving man, while touching your bandages yesterday, so I put two and two together."

"It must've been when I was practically asleep," I mumble. "But yeah, my father."

"Was that what the nightmare you had was about?"

"Yeah, but it also included my mother's death." Not wanting to continue talking, I lie down next to him and close my eyes. Realizing that I don't want to keep talking about this subject, Takao shifts into a comfortable position before we both nod off into uneasy sleep.

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REVIEW _please_... it helps with motivation...and grants my fingers the magical ability of writing... \(^-^)/


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